My Top Ten Pet Peeves

1. Puritanical “Savedees.” I am turned off by the self-important look as they carry their dog-eared bibles with permanent smiles on their faces. The world is a tough place; leave me alone to honor my melancholy as I ponder the weight of the world. And they question me: “Are you saved, my brother? Jesus is the only way.”

“Saved from what?” I answered back with a glare that will wilt a tree.

Luther’s rebellion against the corrupt Catholic Church was timely in my book. But the excesses of the Calvinists exemplified by predestination of the elect brought arrogance into the mix. Moreover, the insistence of being “saved by grace alone, and not by works” undermined the underpinnings of the Catholic Church of community and service to our fellow man. Now individualism became the centre stage that was to support the Industrial Revolution and Capitalism—with it came bad manners associated with raw competition.

With their bad manners of “holier than thou” the Brits sent these Puritans scampering to the so-called New World. And to this day they have confused Americans and the rest of the world that subscribes to anything Americana.

In most American jurisdictions women can barely wear anything as long as they don’t show their nipples in public. If you do, you risk going to jail. Never breast feed in public if you don’t want the Sheriff to handcuff you. This, of course, is a legacy of the Puritanical version of fear of arousal. They spoilt a good thing that is meant for loving and feeding.

Then there is the no-drinking and no entertainment. This people don’t want fun. The bootlegging Catholic Kennedy patriarch told the Puritanical Temperance Movement to shove it during the Prohibition—he sold enough “illegal” liquor to make a fortune that survives to this day. Imagine Prohibition entered the United States Constitution!

2. Competition-Crazed Americans and their Imitators. Excellence for its sake is a good thing. But to do a thing just to beat the other is sickening—and literally since it is what is supporting the manufacturers of Prozac and other mind-altering snake oils. What happened to collaborative work? It will achieve the same in the larger scheme of things than the cutthroat-in-your face raw competition.

3. Processed Hair. Ladies, Ladies, Ladies. Black women of the world, stop being scarecrows. You will never be a white woman however much you try to shake that processed do—it just doesn’t have that swing. If I want a white woman, I can have one with the snap of a finger. Then there is the horse hair extensions—give me a break. If that is not enough, you try to color it to match your brown skin tone. My, My, My. Then you humiliate the race by becoming blonde!

The so-called First lady of Uganda has it right—and just maybe about the only thing about her that appeals to me. The close-cropped do is au naturale just the way my African queen should look like. Besides it is easy on the budget.

4. Ten-ton gas guzzling American monster vehicles. I know the car is a symbol of freedom, and the one that has the “baddest” toy wins. Ever since my view was blocked from seeing that vehicles had stopped to a crawl, and had to pump hard on my breaks to avoid being mangled into the mountain in front, I have hated the guzzlers. You waste the common resources of the world. You pollute the environment more than I do.

5. African power-obsessed dictators and their hangers-on. These are colonial rulers in dark skins. Apparently the colonials did a good job inculcating the notion of indirect rule. Even when they supposedly left, they still rule. Sooner or later the African will say no to these bloodsuckers in spite of their guns and patronage.

6. People who lack inner joy. Wearing sadness in your face is not going to bring you money, food or even wealth. On the contrary the sadder you are the more these things run away from you. Leave the Joneses alone and rejoice in their beautiful women and children, businesses, and the likes. This may make you less uptight and open your energy resources for creative ideas and wealth.

7. Jealous envious people. You can’t get any lower than being envious and jealous. It is a mystery to me why these traits are so prevalent and yet they are very debilitating to the psyche and well-being.

8. Stupid people who follow blindly. God gave you a mind to think for yourself; why be taken by some smooth talking snake-oil salesman? They followed Hitler and millions died. Bush lied about Iraq and thousands died, and now we have a recession looming. And now he is going to fix the recession by giving us money? What a piece of crock.


9. Ill-bred pretending dissemblers. Just be who and what you really are. You want to be somebody, work for it.

10. People who don’t keep promises. This is a sign that there is really nothing between the two of you—whether in love, business or play. So take a hike.