Uganda and Acoli, in particular, woke to news of a macabre proportion. A man went into to a house full of people sleeping. In the house was also his prospective wife—prospective because he had not completed paying the dowry and the woman’s family had withdrawn her to her father’s household. In a fit of premeditated anger the man doused the house with gasoline and set it ablaze. Eleven people were burned to death.
One can only speculate on the mental state of the man. He probably felt humiliated—in cultural context. Everywhere he looked probably he saw people regarding him as a loser—the guy who could not pay the dowry and now has to cook for himself! Many faced with similar circumstances of rejection or loss would probably drink it off, talk to friends, relatives or priest. Some would probably withdraw inward, develop ulcers and, hopefully one day, by the grace of the universe, find love again. Then there is a small percentage among us the world over who will react and lash out in manners that make us shake our heads in wonder.
This kind of extreme anger is not the monopoly of men alone. There are numerous stories of Acoli women reacting violently in loss of love. I experienced one such case not long ago—it wasn’t pretty but, luckily for now, Oceans separate us. When I told friends, they had stories of their own.
May the souls of the dead rest in peace. Rather than seeking revenge, may the living find ways of resolving future conflicts before they occur. Traditional leaders, elders, churches and schools can play a major role in instilling the norms that hold a society free from this kind of bizarre violence.
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