What really is s/he up to?

I was an ace salesman of high-end commercial technology products and services at one time. Then I couldn’t sell a thing. What went wrong? I asked myself.

“Call me in six months,” was some of the choruses that I used to hear. I would record it religiously in my book to make sure I did call. Six months down the line the prospect has either gone with another or is still not ready. What was happening? I groomed well. I prepared myself thoroughly. I was backed up by a Fortune 100 company.

Then I chanced to read something on nonverbal body language, and worked to understand it. It is a fascinating area, that one can not know to one’s own peril—be it in love, business or other social interactions.

Nonverbal language is based on the premise cultivated over millions of years for mammalian survival—freeze, flight or fight—in that order. And it is unbelievably scientifically accurate measure of the true state of the man or woman. Its origin is centered deeply in the recesses of the brain beyond the thinking calculating part. So, whatever the thinking calculating human is saying, if it is different in reality, the tell tale signs will show up in the feet, leg, arms, hands and eyes as a consequence of stress/lack of stress or discomfort/comfort. If you can read a tell sign—in context, of course—, it gives you a leg up in probing and responding accordingly in real time and avoiding being blindsided.

When we are stressed (or happy) about a question, person, thing or situation we automatically do things to relieve the discomfort (or show joy) , and we generally have no control over it. Check these out:
Covering the neck dimple
Rubbing the forehead
Neck touching
Cheek or face touching
Exhaling with puffed out cheeks
Adjusting ties
Massaging and stroking the neck
Covering the neck
Brief touch of the neck
Excessive yawning
Cleansing pants in the knee areas with hands
Ventilating the neck at the collar
Wiggling feet
One foot pointing to the exit while the rest of the body may be facing you
Clasping the knee while on a chair
Walking with a bit of bounce
Toes pointing to the air and rocking the feet on the back ball
Crossing legs while standing
Foot freeze
Foot Lock
Torso bow—Museveni never does except to the Queen of England
Shoulder Shrug
Weak Shoulder Display
Squinting
The Sneer
Eye Blocking
Looking askance
Lips disappearing



Sen. Joe Lieberman, ID-Conn. arrives at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport in Minneapolis, Sunday, Aug. 31, 2008 for the Republican National Convention.

Look--the guy's lips have disapeared. He has down-cast eyes and, dispite the clenched fist response to a supporter nearby, the jaws are tightly knit. Despite being a friend of McCain and a prospective VP who was under consideration, he was passed over for Sarah Palin. Is this a happy man going to his friend's nomination? The tell tale signs say otherwise.