Yes, Laissez Faire, but with Heart

Illinois Family Business Thanks Employees with Huge Bonuses

CHICAGO – Even though employees at the Peer Bearing Co. no longer work for the Spungen family that recently sold the Waukegan-based ball bearings maker, they still received a turkey each this Thanksgiving in keeping with tradition.
But even better was the gift that came in mid-September, when the Spungens threw a party to celebrate the company's acquisition by a Swedish company.
They gave away $6.6 million in year-end bonuses to Peer's 230 employees, decided by a formula based on each worker's years of service.

Dia Broda Baraks

Dia Broda Baraks,

Congrats on your assumption to the throne of US. We your Nigerian famili are very happy for you and for ourselves. It is our turn now to chop we US national cake and our enemies can do notting about dat.I was to come to see you personally at Wite aus but I was not allowed at the airport because of say no fisa. I told them I am Obama kosin bet they refuse me.Your new elesion is a very good news for the Obama clan in Kenya and de famili in Nigeria . When I fest went to de family aus in Kenya to tell dem we are one famili they did not agree but me pastor from me church make 3 days dry fast and give me a special sponge to baf in barbitch after this they accept me. Becos they don't remember the sister of your granfada mother dat went to Nigeria and mari a shief live near Lagos in 1956 which is also my own personal great
grandfada.

Now de famili has choose me to diskus some important matas with you. You know you have been long in Amrica and have forget our traditions but tank God we, your famili are hia to guide you to be rill African man. As a president, you must have a male son in office who will take over after you die and since ya wife Minchell has not able to do dat, we have find a wife for you from your fada village. The famili have already chose a good girl from de village not like Amerika or lagos gals who are too stubborn to obey the famili. She is a humble well behave and edicated gal who study sewing and fasion disine so she can helpwith sewing your suit wen e tia and also unifom for ami and soja.

I hope ya waif will assept famili shoice becos we have fogif her for her winchcraft wich dont allow her to have a male son but if not, she can go back to her fada. Even my pastor has say your younger thoter may need a deliverance becos her granmoda want to give her winsh and ogbanje spirit to chop. Please don't wori about what dis will cost becos I will do it with my own pusonal moni becos we are one famili.

I also want to tell you that I want to set up NGO for hades unfans in Kenya and I can be the leader of the NGO. I have a good standard six degree and also studied computa at Iyana Ipaja so am well qualify for dis.Please I need your help for this.I hope you will consider my request. I will also like your personal mobile so I can call you. Please greet Auntie Minchel and the shindren for us. God bless you and may all your enemies fall down and die, in Jesus' name!

Til I hear you,
I amYours amiable cousin
Festus Obama

Debunking the Myth of Museveni's Invincibility

A successful life is or should be premised on balance. Excesses tend to create disruptions, change and/or collapse in a life system. For example, for those who drink, alcohol is said to be good for the heart—as in the physical in addition to the sudden rambunctious sense of heart-warming euphoria. However, excesses corrode the liver and bring the brain to mush, insanity and/or premature death.

Lately some Uganda journalists, known for their lack of depth and research, have been in the habits of pronouncing Mr. Museveni presidency untouchable in the near future. And, since in the long run we are all dead, they have crowned him a life president, who will probably be succeeded by his son or any of his family members. These journalists see only Museveni’s guns, his Kiboko goons, his now-quiet-ugly Mutale, the spineless MPs, and an opposition short on proactive strategies and tactics but more on individual sick ambitions. However, seen in a larger context of balance, all indications are that Mr. Museveni has already lost, and he is now on a downhill slope. That is not where a good General should be—he should be victorious before the battle.

A “century” ago as he galloped to the bush, Museveni was already victorious before the first shot was fired. All the mathematics was in his favor. The excesses of Obote weren’t sustainable. And the pathetic amateurish action of the so-called Acoli-backed generals could but only shorten the timeframe to Museveni’s triumph. No wonder if you are a son of these generals and stayed home, you may have been rewarded with an undeserving ministerial post and a lucrative contract with one of the premier company in the country and become filthy rich.

He was the real McCoy come to restore balance. And did the general population welcome him? Yes, they did. As it is with all humans, we bring to the table what our mamas and upbringing weaned us on. You can put a pig in a clean nice place, but come the next day, you will find it has defecated and urinated where it sleeps.

In twenty years and counting Mr Museveni has adopted an imperial presidency no different from Obote and Idi Amin.

1. The general population is now experiencing what the North has known all along for the last twenty three years—a police state. Shoving leaders into jail is not new to the North. The Kiboko squad is not new to the North. With human sacrifices going around Kampala the suspected cooking of humans might, in fact be the rumored activities Kakooza Mutale’s goons instead of the vicious LRA.
If Museveni gets more than 20% in 2011, it will be more to the stupidity in the North rather than anything else.

2. Tell me if you can understand these actions on the Kabaka and his kingdom other than humiliation:
a. Floating the nasty rumor that the Kabaka was sired by one Daudi Oceng—a Mucoli moreover—of the degenerate biological substance lot. I wonder why Dr. Aliker, the brother took the bait and raised some noise. No wonder he is now a mere presidential adviser, and not a whole minister—that is if he cares for the prestige and not access to the loots since he is “a man of substance.”
b. Linking the Buganda Kingdom to the Luo, ostensibly again, to bring down to the level of a people he most despise and hate.
c. The Land Bill designed to weaken the ssabasajja and the abataka since the advent of the gain they got from our colonial masters

Whether one likes it or not the Buganda Kingdom still has a hold on many Baganda, and Mr. Museveni has already lost a large chunk of the lucrative Buganda vote.

3. Corruption. This needs no elaboration. Among the small middle class Mr. Museveni has lost all credibility and will get only a small fraction of the votes from his home turf from this group.

4. Infrastructures and social services. The roads and healthcare system are what his loyal banakyaalo see as evidence of Museveni’s failure in the last twenty plus years. Only Kiboko squads and rigging will force voting Museveni among this lot.

5. Laissez Faire Economics. The World Bank induced free market maybe heaven for the quick and the informed. There are plenty of resources to build successful enterprises in spite of the miserable infrastructures or lack. What do you do with the teaming millions who don’t know the ropes when there are no credible mechanisms, other than slogans, to bring them into the feast? Only a small percentage of the jobless young will vote for Museveni in 2011.

These are extremes that have to be corrected by a change. In the minds of many Ugandans Museveni has already lost the love he so much desires. It is just a matter of time. He can install his wife, his son or his brother, then what? Nature abhors excesses and cherishes balance, and the outcome will surprise us— just as the fall of the Soviet Union did—just as the fall of Apartheid did—and many other surprises in our time. Stay tuned.

Ah! Ah! Ah! What a Laughing Stock

Ah, sista, what are you all in stitches about?

Hi! Hi! Hi! You kiro me ma brotha. It is ma preciden--he is a piece ofo worki! Look at this loado to Kitigumi that looki like kalo porridge thati ma preciden enjoys very muchi! And minista Oryemi, apologazi, calli another minista, and theni assurred usi dat the loadi willi bi repaired sooni. Are these peopoli nincompoops or something, or we the citizens are?


Unfortunately, Mr. President a laughing stock is what you have turned the country into. Ah! Ah! Ah! What a country—roads that look like cattle trails, hospitals that are worse than American animal shelters, a regime that rules by violence and not reason, a regime that is corrupt from top to bottom, ad infinitum. Tell me, Mr. President: What is there not to laugh at? Ah! Ah! Ah! Your guns instead of hoes? Your bloated parliament? Your bloated number of districts? Your gazillion redundant ministers?

Ah! Ah! Ah! Mr. Museveni, threats won’t cut the mustard. You changed the country through violence in which a lot of blood was shed. You are good at it because nothing speaks like success. Management of the country, however, is another matter. You clearly don’t know. And you have succeeded in failing. It is time to accept that fact at let go. Genda eri! We are tired of your games and manipulations!

It is the Mind, Stupid

Ex-president Clinton, once said he would focus on the economy like a laser beam, because “It is the economy, stupid.” I say, Afrikans have to focus on the state of their minds, stupid. It is from where they were/are manipulated by kings, chiefs, missionaries, colonials, prime ministers, presidents, Arab slave traders, and what have you.

Whatever your reason is for visiting here a few times it is because you convinced yourself that I have one or two nuggets of ideas, or that I am real—not a fake, or maybe interestingly stupid to warrant another visit. It is all in your mind.

Take the Christian religion; it says you should eat the body of Christ and drink his blood. If we had any sense, why didn’t we tell the missionaries that we were not cannibals to eat somebody and drink his blood? Of course, by then they had already convinced our minds they knew better, and we should just obediently follow.

37 times in the Bible Joshua, (aka Jesus) says he is a man—the son of man, just like the rest of us. The only difference from the average Joe was that he had an exceptional use of his mind to connect to the Truth—the Truth that is the universal all-goodness.

So, all these preachers living large on your money do so because you have surrendered your mind to them to enter your pocket. The really successful leaders of all sorts do so because they have learned to use their minds at an elevated frequency that connects to the ordinary Joe, or scares opponents, or both.

We often hear the refrain: You can be what you want to be. I will add: You can be what you have convinced your mind you want to be.

Afrika is Open for Business

Rather than just a place noted for strives and pestilence, there are opportunities for substantial return on investments in Afrika like nowhere in the world. For the bold, they are the pioneers of what will be the next frontier. These are their stories in Africa Open For Business. Check it out for yourself, and think about whether or not you and I are just do-nothing cry-babbies.

Obviously, there are challlenges. If one has gotten used to the comfort of the west, then stay put where you are. If one has gotten into the easy money of affirmative action government jobs in the west, please keep your job until retirement and then wait to die. Afrika needs creativity and thinking outside the box.

If Wishes Were Horses, Beggars Would Ride

Who am I kidding? None of this, of course, will reach your president-elect's eyes or ears—no pun intended. If it can reach the minds of one or two people, I am a happy camper.

First, congratulations on your historical win. While you are now involved in putting up a cabinet and mulling over the state of the economy and the other many challenges the world over, here are the wishes of some of us, Afrikans.

America’s contradictory policies have contributed in many ways to repressions and despotisms that have stunted the political, economical and social developments of Africa.

-Once and for all exorcise King Leopold’s Ghost so that the people of Congo can take a breather and prosper.
-Coddling the handful of Afrikan despots props them and makes them appear legitimate. Call these despots for what they are, isolate them and leave the rest for us to finish them off with our votes.
-Somali is something else. While we have some romance with that high-sea piracy, we subscribe to fair play. If you can pull your weight around in the Muslim world, let them work with Somalis to sort the failed-country mess. Maybe as a Somali elder, you will succeed here.

Obama, the Somali Elder

-Darfur, Darfur, Darfur. Sort out that Bashir man so that the Black Afrikans can have a life.

We are tired of the religious missionaries. Bring us business missionaries for joint ventures and venture capital. The aid thing is old, and usually just benefits the mean big daddies. Do one or two trips with the intent of letting your countrymen and the world see Afrika’s potentials for good business returns rather than a place of strives and pestilence.

Yes, Afrika can. Sing your winning refrain to Afrika. If one or two believes in it, you never know the limits. Yes, we can.

What Would You Do?

If you were in the rabbit's shoe, what would you do? The rabbit, obviously has given up, and is quaking with fear. If you kept your wit and thought of grabbing the pelican's neck, you are a true survivor! You are going to die anyway—you might as well go for broke—God helps those who help themselves!

When a Drunk "Lieutenant" Bob Hit a Drunk Munyankole

This story would be comical if it weren’t serious. It is a true story that involved some people I know.

My friend called me up telling me about her brother having hit a pedestrian and was now in police custody. She said that the previous night her brother, the dark horse of the family and a good-for-nothing unemployed young man, took her car without authorization and went out on the town. On his drunken way back he hit another young man. He bundled the victim up, shoved him into the car, and took him to the police station accusing him of having hit his windshield with a large object. At the police station he (my friend’s brother) said he was a lieutenant from Makindye. An alert police officer, however, sensed something was not right. So, he called up Makindye telling them that he had a named “officer” in an accident. Makindye did not know of an officer called Bob for purpose of this story. The police officer then traced up the car to my friend and called her up. This is when hell broke loose for Lieutenant Bob. He was soon bundled up and put in police custody, and the hit victim released.

My friend is a hardcore survivor in the dog-eat-dog Uganda. By the time we got to the station she had already come to some tentative terms—Uganda style— with the police. She tagged me along because money was going to be involved, and she calculated I would be an asset.

The police station was a ramshackle affair in one of the populated outskirts of Kampala. We sat under a tree. Soon a police officer came and greeted us, and said he was expecting the victim soon. Since he was not in uniform I assumed he was a detective. He sounded intelligent, and I wondered why he would resort to such a shady deal.

In about thirty minutes the victim arrived. He looked forlorn and a far cry from many of the people from his part of the country who dominate the news. The police officer pressured him to accept a certain amount of dough which, after about an hour of haggling, he finally accepted. He signed a prepared document, effectively forfeiting any future claims of damage, got his money and left.

Matters were not complete yet. The handler of the case, besides the officer we were dealing with, supposedly needed something for his efforts. Once everyone was taken care of, my friend’s brother emerged from the station. I did not even hear him say “thank you” to his sister.

There is a line from a notorious white headmaster that was handed to us from seniors: Uganda is corrupt from top to bottom. The headmaster reigned in the 60s, and some of those making major decisions in Uganda now were his students. Did they learn anything? And what example are they giving to the police officer who earns pittance? He eateth where he worketh--a saying I heard from someone. Buturo is just wasting space and time since he has no power to rein in his errand colleagues who set bad examples.

Why He Did Not Cut Down The Plum Tree

An ancient Chinese stratagem talks of cutting the plum tree to save the peach tree. It is now common knowledge that Mr. Museveni—our own version of a maverick—turned the Chinese aphorism on its head. He saved the blight infested plum trees to save the peach tree—supposedly.

One could hear him urge his NRM parliamentary caucus: Let us act as one. Let us unite for the sake of the mighty NRM. We are a revolutionary movement. We are scientific. We are unemotional. All these, of course, are equivalent of raising corpses from the dead. Then add to that a few threats from security apparatus and challenges from a well-oiled machine in the next election. Soon all the rank-and-file NRM MPs are in line.

Are you confounded yet? What do you think mavericks do? They confound. They take calculated risks.

Do you conceivably believe that Mama Janet actually acted of her own accord to the orchestrated leaked crusade for cutting down the blighted plum trees? I don’t.
Mr. Museveni wanted the plum trees to be beholden to him—he saved them even at the cost of his own marital bliss—supposedly. How more benevolent can you get? Take that to the bank—it is bankable, it is strategic, and it is Musevenian.

Despite the country’s negative image for corruption, why did he do it? Even if high-level corruption may stagnate the country, it is a boon to the Visionary’s survival. With the Temangalo saga conquered in his favor, Mr. Museveni is now set for his final act of life presidency. The flea-infested cats around him can do his biddings—even fall on swords for him lest he pulls the rugs from under them.

So, what does all this portend for the rest of us who are allergic to all that filth? Some may vote with their feet and take their talents elsewhere at the first available opportunity—just as they did some three decades ago. Some will tough it out amidst the increasing misery indices, but will sabotage the systems whenever and wherever they can. Those outside will stay put, and not entertain any notion of taking themselves and their accumulated assets back home. Those who dare will step up their smarts for the final showdown. In the end it will all come crushing down before it gets better—for that is the natural law of the Universe because evil is unsustainable.

The Fine Art of Management by Conflicts

Of the series of girlfriends—too many for my own good—,two stand out for their abilities at creating conflicts. Just when I am feeling comfortable and considering the ultimate possibilities, boom! Where did that come from? I am hit by a crisis. I am accused of this and that. As I become defensive we sink down to our lowest selves as we shout at one another. This is followed by the silent treatment. Sooner or later we are buddies again and in paradise—till next time! With time, however, the cycle becomes old and we drift apart and are only friends with benefits—if you know what I mean.

The story of confrontational relationship management may well mirror the story of Museveni’s NRM vis-à-vis the Uganda population. This year alone we can count a series of deliberately created conflicts meant to put the population on edge.

1. As his CHGOM intoxication was wearing down, he needed something to stir the water. He thus derided the Juba talks to the extent of dissociating himself from his own representative, Rugunda. What was that all about?
2. If you can understand the near fanaticism in floating the conflict-loaded land legislation, give me call. Now we will see how he will manage the practical implications of the said law in the Temangalo land saga.
3. Denying a tribal king the right to visit his subjects
4. Tribal ministers being roughed up for no apparent credible reason but to show who is the boss of all bosses.
5. Handling the Temangalo land issue by bending laws to achieve desired self-serving outcomes.

As if these were not tiring enough, this week Mr. Museveni went back to his old conflict grazing ground of Acoliland by releasing information on his design for taking land by using the government’s power of eminent domain.

Yes, in a democracy, a government can take land from owners based on certain constitutional and legal framework. The law of eminent domain is, however, fraught with controversies which his international agencies might have to contend with as they help in financing the Madhivani sugar scheme.

Acoli is not new to land appropriation by the government. However, even in the totalitarian colonial British rule, the government had to negotiate with the Acoli in taking large swaths of land for the Paraa Game Park. Incidentally, the terms of that settlement need to be revisited because the government maybe owing Acoli billions in back royalties on paid usage by visitors to the park.

What then is the power of eminent domain? This assumes that Uganda is not China, and the government is accountable to generally accepted legal principles based on the democratic world model. In this model eminent domain refers to the power possessed by the state over all property within the state, specifically its power to appropriate property for a public use. However, in most jurisdictions this power is weighed against the equally valid claim of private ownership and the right to do with it whatever manner one legally wants. And so to effect eminent domain there must be just compensations or some court hearings on alternative uses.

In the case of the said Acoli land, community property is a recognized private property to which the residents have asked to get settled down first after a virulent conflict before it can negotiate directly with the Madhvani Group. Is this too much to ask? Or is the present overture the equivalent of looting a house on fire?

In a twisted version of public use, the government now defines economic use as public use. That is partly why it tactically injects a percentage of government ownership in the deal as a public usage ruse.

If the Acoli MPs were astute tacticians, they should have long been prepared for this because Mr. Museveni will try every avenue to get his way. We live in interesting times. Let us be prepared for long legal battles ahead.

Tribute to Miriam Makeba-Mama Afrika

Daughter Bongi

Husband #2 Black Panther, Stokely Carmichael

Husband numero uno, Trumpeter Hugh Masekela

My father was good at hoarding old magazines and newspapers in neat piles— testimony to his affectation to erudition. Going through these piles in my own early ravenous quest for knowledge, I vaguely remember the pictures of this beautiful African woman with hair closely cropped and the heart-thawing smiles. She was my adolescent definition of beauty. She was the African singer from South Africa. She was Miriam Makeba, later dubbed Mama Afrika.

It was the dawn of post-independent Africa. While I was just learning English and could not grasp the nuances of what were being said in the magazines, I sensed the air of Pan-Africanism. So, when I heard Miriam Makeba on the radio I cocked my ears more keenly. One record that still rings very clearly even as I write now is that praising Mzee Jomo Kenyatta—Pole Mze. With the onset of teen age, Congolese, Swahili and our local Luganda pop music took over my attention. The folk song variety of Makeba soon disappeared from my consciousness as she herself disappeared from the lives of the ordinary Afrikan.

Her passing away last week-end brought floods of emotions, and I sought to connect to my adolescent pin-up girl—the emblem of the quintessential African beauty and grace. I immersed myself in connecting to her to understand her essence.

A lot has been said about Miriam Makeba—the stripping of her citizenship by the South African Boers to which the world responded by giving her nine different passports, the triumph of love over career in her marriage to Black Panther Stockely Carmichael, and the association with murderous African dictators. Would a political person marry a Black Panther at that time? She did and RCA yanked her record contract. What has love got to do with it?, she might have asked. Would a sensible artist associate with Togo’s Eyadéma, Guinea’s Sékou Touré and Cote d’Ivoire’s Houphouët-Boigny ? This was the time of the big-man Africa and Miriam Makeba played at the rallies of these dictators. To her it was giving—her music to the African people even in the midst of Afrikan predatory big cats.

Above all Miriam Makeba was just a little Afrikan girl who wanted to go home to her Mama in Sophia town and sing to her people. She curtseyed as if she was kneeling to her audience—that was and still is the practice in many Afrikan households. Politics was forced on her and she handled it with grace and equanimity. Thank you, Mama Afrika for adding your elixir of beauty and songs to my cup of joy and Afrikan pride.

Mayibuye

MM at the UN

Does Tribe Matter?

At the dawn of Uganda’s Independence a suave electrifying Prime Minister from the North wedded a Southerner. Was it a love bite? Was it political? Or was it both? Nevertheless, soon the educated, the soldiers, the prison warders and the policemen hailing from the North followed in the prime minister’s—later the president’s—footsteps.
Today the products of those marriages have come of age, and some of them are playing front-row seats in the country’s conversations.

First, let us jump across the pond to the US of A where the product of a brief union between an African tribesman and a European tribeswoman has suddenly become a world’s superstar. His mixed-tribe background, coupled with a keen intellect, helped him build a successful coalition to win an election, uplift the spirits of his nation and the world. As he jokingly referred to himself as a mutt, can our local mongrels equally bring together the North-South divide to work towards a common goal? Put another way; are these mutts the answer to the vexing downsides of tribe/race? Or is the Obama phenomenon just a coincidental random occurrence leaving us still with the question: does tribe matter?

Tribe should matter in culture as it adds to the tapestry of music, language, beauty and other qualities that makes the world richer. Imagine a world where most Acoli have become mongrels having had Bagisu or Banyarwanda mothers who have not encouraged the finer art of Larakaraka dance. The world would be cheated of a vibrant seductive music and dance that has pulsated the hearts of many of our fellow homo sapiens.

To say that tribe should not matter is to say that family, community or nation should not matter. The problems that arise from tribe are the same problems that are emblematic of conflicts between families, communities and nations—greed, hate, bad faith, chauvinism—just plain evil. And so, while pretenders speak of and use laws against what they call sectarianism, they stack key positions of government with their own tribe. A good faith effort would have been to recognize tribal tendencies—even from revolutionary liberators—and work towards practical solutions.


Well packaged, this Acoli Lukeme music and dance could contribute to World Peace through aerobic exercise from Beijing to San Francisco!

Can This Nation Be Saved?

It is now out that Mama Janet supposedly wanted Mbabazi & Co to face the guillotine on account of their involvement in the NSSF saga. Why her control freak husband would allow such information from the NRM caucus to leak out in the public domain has me scratching my head. What message was he sending if it were true that his wife, of her own accord and in a moral outrage, disagreed with him? Or was it just a staged up act that had been rehashed in pillow talks to fool the masses? After all, Mr. Museveni prevailed, and his wayward ministers have another lease on life as they know it, while a nation sinks lower. Where is the beef? Can this nation be saved by the premier savadee?

Are you Wo/Man Enough to do the Vomaseve?

Even the NRM (aka Museveni) verdict on the NSSF shame cannot dim the Obama high--Yes, we can! Why not do the Vomaseve as testimony to being down but not out?!

The Devil is the Elephant in the Room

My friend and I often wondered why a mutual friend was at times erratic and unpredictable. Just when you thought you were having a good time and that your friendship was the best thing in this journey, then, kaboom!, you have to look behind you in dealing with him.

Similarly each of us imagines we have some form of relationship with those in authority over us. But what puzzles many is: Why do some of these people sometimes behave in bizarre ways that send us scratching our heads?

I think I have discovered the keys to this phenomenon, and I hope that I might be a candidate for the next Nobel Prize. Imagine a prize named after a guy who invented something to blow up things! Don’t even get me on this line of thinking. Look at the white supremacist Cecil Rhodes who coined his name to Rhodesia. While both Rhodesia are no more the Rhodes scholarship, largesse from Black exploitation, still benefits mainly the young white scholars of which Bill Clinton was a beneficiary. Enough of that—I had to vent my spleen.

Anyway, my discovery—Love and Fear are the chief behavior determinants for the low and the mighty. While love is ennobling in many ways, fear is debilitating in many ways. We seek and give love from the beginning of our short stay in this space. For some reason, if we missed getting that nurturing love early on, it messes us up. Some people sleep around with any creature to get it. For some people the quest to get it is fraught with fear—the elephant in their living room. Sometimes the fear shows up as possessiveness and jealousy.

So, while we see outward manifestations of power and bravery, the bizarre behaviors might be a function of fear. In the political realm, two dudes come to mind—Museveni and Mugabe. These are tough, seemingly fearless guys who run ram shod over their opponents.

We see Museveni dishing out brown envelops full of cash and four-wheeled vehicles left and right. This is the act of a needy person—desperate to be loved. Having done all these, he thinks the peasants just must love him, and don’t you dare attempt to take that away from him. And so, when Besigye, after a triumphant tour up country, marches on Kampala like Jesus coming to Nazareth, fear engulfs Museveni and he goes rogue and ballistics. He saw a threat of somebody taking away the affection of the Ugandans he perceived he has given so much. Word is that he was right there in the chaos directing the arrest of Besigye.
One could also say that the bizarre arrest of some loony tribal kingdom ministers was motivated by similar fear. Here is a guy, armed to the teeth and regularly insults whoever he hates, suddenly can’t handle innocuous bad language from these so-called ministers. Many leaders I know would have just ignored and gone about doing their business—not our man.

And so we find ourselves in a Kafkaesque dilemma of sorts, where the fearful fears the fearful—the population is fearful of a leadership that is fearful. If only we knew! What if a bunch of NRM legislatures with balls had chosen to go for broke, stood up to the bully and made Mbabazi & Co to pay their dues in the NSSF saga. They might have surprised themselves with their power. But that was not to be and, as a nation, we sunk lower.

The Coolest Man Alive Wins the Presidency

Do you think you are Cool?

Looking around here is a short list of what I found cool dudes dig or have done:
1. Know how to tie a bow tie
2. Make a woman scream and thereafter to remain in bliss and she is well with his world
3. Unimpressed with nothing save Quantum Physics and the coolest of all dudes, Barack Obama
4. Drive Mini Morris, Jetta or Porche'
5. Run for life, ride a bike and go to the gym at least once a week
6. May not dance Salsa, Lambada, or Tango but, for God's sake, can do Dikakapa or Vomeseve
7. Has a signature drink he mixes. If you don't, try Tequila, Tonic Water and a dash of lime. If you don't do alcohol, try green tea and honey with lime
8. Know how to cook something that makes her give it up unreservedly
9. Loyalty is for real men. This is not about complete agreement, but is about a shared past and present
10. God is Mind because what gets in makes reality. You put in garbage, you get out garbage as in GIGO. You put in fear, you manifest fear. That is what free will is all about.
11. Has a joke or two in his quiver
12. Can explain in simple language such concepts as sampling & quantization in digital signal processing

You may add more of what you think cool dudes dig

Okay, You Won

So, where do we go from here? You went to the bush because you were revolutionaries. You soaked the land with blood and you won. You are in control now—at least physically. You claimed a movement. What movement? For a fundamental change, I am told. Then I am told of a 10-point program I have never read.

Now, Buganda, the locus of your revolutionary operation, says it sleeps, but one wonders whether the banakyaalo of Luwero have reaped the rewards for their sadaaka. I am told your own region of birth (maybe), having not had major trauma in generations, is prospering. Good. We all want to shine by our own sweats.

As a pre-requisite, we want a government that can do its part so that we do our part. We want an efficient transportation system. We know that Rome was not built in a day, but let us agree on the old proverbial 5-year plan to modernize the system—none of the one-man vision that bores me to tears.

We know that there are things the free market just doesn’t do well. Government can participate by well-thought out regulations and maybe injection of capital and control. But none of the farcical arbitrary one-man control that necessitates that one has to talk to Mr. Visionary about importation of exotic cattle sperm.

So, you fought and we admire your sacrifice. We also understand that those less advanced in the spiritual plane use violence to get their way. In their delusional quest the give-and-take of negotiated settlements are not options lest they be mistaken for weaklings.

Okay, you won. But does that mean a police state, kanyama and Black Mamba? Does that mean the public coffer is some people’s piggy bank? Is that what you fought for?

Peace has come to the region of the primitive biological substances. Now the whole nation sleeps. Let us get on with the program of building a nation we all can be proud of. Yes, we can, as in the battle cry of my brother to his people across the pond. We are all waiting with our fingers crossed—cautiously optimistic that we will bear witness to the miraculous workings of the Universal Mind that will also manifest itself in our tortured country.

Here is an apropos nuance with Bila pa Lokwiya (Lokwiya Sounds the Horn)

Loyalty to the Team versus Loyalty to the Truth

Mr. Museveni’s standing by his man, Super Minister Amama Mbabazi, comes as no surprise. All the splitting of hairs about the NSSF theft as being an investment rather than a procurement is a shameless attempt to cover a king caught naked with his pants down. Another president across the pond once claimed that being cheeky with a cigar on an intern was not sexual intercourse! Only the naïve doubts that the minority opinion was staged managed as a tactical maneuver to help counter the pending parliamentary censorship.

Now UPC has been whitewashed and becomes the standard of modus operandi. This is a party that has been the butt of the man’s ridicule. A party that to me is as dirty as they come. You don’t defend fellow members on theft and divergent philosophy you feel strongly about if you really love your country. This will be a test case that will define Uganda for a long time just as we still reel to this day from the 1966 Pigeon-Hole constitutional change. When a party becomes over-bearing it will soon exist only in name and only in the minds of those who have nothing better to think about but wallow in nostalgia. We, the people are not stupid.

Are our legislators and ministers mere glorified clerks who serve the selfish interests of Museveni and Mbabazi? Don’t hold any hope, my brothas and sistas. If you can, just enjoy some Cuban Salsa below with Papa or Mama!