The Golden Gal

http://www.monitor.co.ug/News/National/-/688334/926592/-/x087fw/-/index.html

We would like to heartedly congratulate Ms Nambooze on her win. She is a woman after our hearts. She loves her people, and she is not shy and apologetic about it. And that is how it should be. To love your family is not to hate any other family—that is just the way it is.

When she was haunted by the power that be, our hearts bled. Parliament will give her an opportune forum to shine, and shine we are confident she will. Go, girl!

The Prisoner's Dilemma

In a single combat, if the enemy is less skillful than ourselves, if his rhythm is disorganized, or if he has fallen into evasive or retreating attitudes, we must crush him straightaway, with no concern of his presence and without allowing him space for breath. It is essential to crush him all at once. The primary thing is not to let him recover his position, not even a little.”
(Miyamoto Musashi)

Humans are the champions of cooperation: from hunter-gatherer societies to nation-states, cooperation is the decisive organizing principle of human society. No other life form on Earth is engaged in the same complex games of cooperation and defection.”
(Martin Nowak)


In the hierarchical power-based societies of the chimpanzees, bonobos and gorillas, the weak can form coalitions to restrain support, or even drive out over-dominating superior
(Kaplan & Kaplan, 2009)
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In the days of the Shogun there was no greater samurai than Miyamoto Musashi. He won all of his major sixty battles, and none was more spectacular and finely executed than against the aristocratic Sasaki Kojiro.
Musashi’s first winning strategy was to make Kojiro wait thereby tactically getting him angry. Second, when he arrived by boat in the early morning dawn, he had his back to the rising sun which shone into Kojiro’s eyes.

Musashi exemplifies the essence of the zero-sum games that are germane to certain conflicts and competitions. But what separates him—a cultured, honorable warrior—and the common variety beastlike creatures, is not throwing sand into the opponent’s eyes—that is, he always played fair to the standards of a true samurai of his days. An honorable warrior doesn’t threaten to or closes radio stations (supposedly beneficiaries of his policies) just because he doesn’t want the hapless villagers to hear the other side of the truths of his rule. An honorable warrior doesn’t change the rule of the game midway so that he can always win. In The Last King of Scotland, Idi Amin Dada restrains an underling who was beating him in a staged swimming competition. Is that any different from bribing the legislatures to change the constitution for you? Only a gangster warrior concocts crimes against opponents in his perverted attempts to derail them.

While there are zero-sum games, there are also many occasions for non zero-sum games that call for cooperation. Thus we have coined phrases like: win-win, you scratch my back and I scratch yours, or one good turn deserves another or the Acoli’s “mon nywal ki wadgi” (literally: women can bear children with one another—improbable, but in impossibilities there lie discoveries, and that you could help one another when caught up in the same dire straights). Even zero-sum games may call for elements of cooperation, called, “taking whole.” Thus you do not beat your opponent to a pulp since, once he has learnt his lesson, you can turn him into an ally to achieve more.

A non zero-sum game can be illustrated by the Prisoner’s Dilemma. In its simplest form, if two prisoners cooperate with one another and don’t rat on each another, they have the best chance of getting the least time in jail. If both rat on one another they will both have longer time. If only one rats, he walks free, but the other gets the stiffest sentence. The dilemma is that since the two are isolated and do not know what the other would do, the best rational option—each man for himself— would be to rat. This last option is the behavior you would expect of the common variety goat thief. More sophisticated players would cooperate and follow the first option.

It is not an overstatement to say that the opposition is in a prison of some sort. The various political parties can choose to be capricious and behave lower than bonobos, or choose the path of collective survival against a formidable force.

Bidandi Ssali is not a cause for worry since he will get no more votes than his family and workers at his amusement park can provide. Even then, one would have expected this good man to lend his support to a collective cause. Instead he is just a whimsical prosaic old man buying a sports car and taking on a new bride—a futile middle-age crisis.

Nothing need be said about Mao anymore but watch him in amusement as he prances around with silly hyperboles that he is the most popular of the opposition candidates. We know better.

A Vote for Mao is a Vote for Museveni

For those Northerners who see a Great North Hope in Mao, when will you ever learn? Think again. For the Baganda and others who think a DP led by Mao would deliver them from Beelzebub, don’t be duped. I was once also dazzled by the Mao phenomenon—but no more.

I developed my awareness of Uganda politics in the 90s when Mao’s oratory and writings were legendary. In fact, he never fails to remind others how powerful his class of parliamentarians was in the so-called 6th parliament—the days of no-party and individual merit. But individually what did Mao achieve, and what price did he pay for his stances, if any? For example, Museveni never targets him on the controversial Bujagali dam impasse’. Instead, names of people, like Lukyamuzi comes up, and he paid the political price. Reagan Okumu paid with jail time on some trumped-up charges.

During this period, star struck, in an online chat group, I proposed a Mao Scholarship. In hindsight, I am glad that those who knew better shot the idea down. Later on I collaborated with him on one or two projects. In time I peeled the onion of Mao’s personality and got smatterings in my eyes. It is all slick and slyness, and about Project Mao.

You can see Project Mao heading to Yale for a one-year junket even at the height of great sufferings in his constituency due to the LRA war. Is this the man you would want on your side in times of your greatest need? The Yale experience is a wonderful one, but the timing speaks of the man.

And speaking of the LRA; now he is seen as a champion of the peace process. On the same online group I once asserted that the LRA had already lost and should give up and stop the sufferings. They did not occupy any piece of real estate in Uganda and were venting their anger on the people they alleged to liberate, so I innocently opined. I opened a hornet’s nest. The level of hostilities surprised me, and Mao was no exception. Surprisingly now he gets the credit for bringing peace, while many I know who worked behind the scenes to curb the LRA atrocities are instead vilified.

In parliament Mao was part of a shady “Christian” MPs. A similar group of US state legislators once invited him, and that was where I first met him. He was forceful and assertive with his views. My LRA stance was still in his mind, and he sought to correct me that the LRA was not defeated since theirs was a hit-and-run strategy. Duh! I did not pursue the matter further. To the audience of his host family he lauded his sponsoring of school children in Uganda. What was that about? I left disappointed.

There are many incidences that make me distrust Mao completely.

Some Acoli group had invited him to grace their meeting in Toronto. Instead Mao chose to attend the Banyakigezi function in Washington DC. There is no problem with that; after all he is a Munyankole nephew and aspires to national leadership. How would you have handled it? Even a political novice would have found a solution without spurning one group: a simple drop-in at each venue. Apparently he saw no political leverage with the Acoli group, and he shamelessly did what he did just as he is behaving now.

If Mao and Museveni had their way, Museveni’s concentration camps would have become towns, leaving vacated lands for commercial farming. The idea of consolidating land for large-scale farming was a concept floated by a Museveni’s American advisor. Mao fell in lockstep with the inimical plan that would have made millions destitute.

Who will not remember Museveni’s brother with his schemes for Acoli land? Thanks for the outcries; he is now doing it quietly, and at smaller scales through Acoli sisters who find him attractive. No problem with that. Acoli always believed in strengthening the gene pool from without. We don’t marry cousins. But that is another story.

The original vehicle for land acquisition was Divinity Corporation of which Mao had a role. Mao only resigned when it became public knowledge, and he sensed that, while Acoli could be easily divided in other areas, land was a no-go area.

Appearance and perceptions are important for confidence, or lack thereof, in public service. No politician does anything for nothing. So, if you are an opposition heavyweight, how can your wife be employed by your opponent’s wife, who is also politically active? Mao’s wife is or was employed by Museveni’s wife. What is going on here? Some dark stories are already in the air, and Mao maybe at ransom to do Museveni’s biddings.

And the list goes on. Ugandans, Mao candidature is not about you; it is about himself. He is a spoiler, who is beholden to Museveni: Museveni’s win is his win. Don’t be fooled by his slick language. Kill the Mao Project for your own good--abort it still-born!

A Loser's Game

Chameleon in Cahoots with Beelzebub

Most of us are familiar with the one scrawny neighborhood kid who earnestly tries to punch above his weight, as if to prove something. That is characteristic of the Uganda’s perennial loser of a party, the DP which declared it would go it alone against Beelzebub. Napoleon was one, hence the Napoleon complex—the short-man syndrome.

What is DP’s rationale for going solo—a lone ranger? If we are to believe, we are told it is on account of past experiences with coalitions. If DP got the short end in past bargains, whose faults were those? Of course, if you piously proclaim that you are a party of diplomacy, and war is off your table, what do you expect in a neighborhood where muscles garner respect? Deal with what is—not what will be or should be—and you might fair better.

In the playground, after many sleepless nights, little Okello takes on the local bully. It is not a foolhardy gambit sans scheming. Often than not the bully has his nose rubbed in the sand.
So, even if you have only sticks for artillery, you boldly declare: As to war, we keep our options open. That speaks balls rather than the wimpy, wet sissy talk of diplomacy ad infinitum.

Like all constructs of nature, all indications are that the NRM has run its course—has atrophied. All that is left are the gasps of a dying horse. But don’t be fooled—it is still a dangerous, formidable House of Museveni. However, all the talk of the army firmly in his grip should be taken cum grano salis. Of course, the image creates an aura of invincibility that is music to Museveni’s ears. Statistically, the military mirrors the general population, and there is a predictable percentage of service personnel who would be happy to let the dog go.

Most political parties do not seem to have their heads in the clouds. They are realistic, hence the birth of the IPC. They know that the NRM—now House of Museveni—has had a head start, and there are entrenched self-interests inextricably linked to it. For these self-interests, it is not about ideological pursuits, nor any transcendental fidelity to principles for the good of the country. For them it is about their stomachs. Theirs is an existential enterprise, the fruits of which are power, wealth and privilege.

This is a tough nut to crack, and the IPC should be commended and rewarded for cobbling a strategic game plan for ousting Museveni and his cabal. It is not for its sake, but in the interests of saving the country from further ruin.

DP, on the other hand, is full of itself. Blinded by ambition it would rather sacrifice an opportunity. Mao’s signature is written all over the charade. The artifice of consulting with lawyers was a camouflage. We get a glimpse of the preordained stance from a series of speeches Mao made. According to him he is still young, and will still get his chance in future elections cycles. Why not then join the IPC? In his mind, he is the heir apparent to Museveni. In his calculation, even if Museveni could win now, he would be too diminished the next time around and, he, Mao would be a shoe in. On the other hand, an IPC candidate’s win might mean ten more years of waiting, and by that time Mao would be a doddering old man. So, why not urinate on the IPC idea and act as the spoiler?

This fancy Mao footwork might blow up in his face. The reported tenuous support in the North might not hold that much water in votes. The IPC simply need to work to blunt the contrived Mao’s razzle-dazzles. The IPC candidate has a chance to take Buganda considering all the NRM bumbling in the region. Where necessary, the IPC can make informal strategic alliances with the likes of Nambooze, a proven known quantity for goodness. If these scenarios hold, Mao will be a Ralph Nader of Uganda—a spoiler who will be shunned into a nonentity with no forum for his agenda—which is himself.

Tactical Superiority Makes the Difference

 • Herod’s Law: You fuck them, or you get fucked.

Let us face it: conflict and competition are the staples of existence. Losing can have dire consequences. While winning can mean having an harem to sire progenies to ensure genetic immortality. So, winning is the only thing that matters—it is everything. Draws are simply wins on both sides, and they may not resolve matters—ultimately one side must win—as per Amin Dada’s “completely, and also.” Caution: this does not mean barbaric destruction and/or humiliation. It is about taking whole.

A master carpenter sets out to make a chair. He has a way to create a masterpiece. Like the carpenter, a master tactician also has a way. His masterpiece is a clear, unequivocal win.

The way of winning is being nimble on one’s feet, using ad hoc tactics from moment to moment as the occasion calls: sometimes offensive; other times defensive; and, at times, it pays to stay put and neutral. All this in the context of a mind that is spacious, rhythmic and orderly flexible, while taking into account a given REACT (Resources, Environment, Attitude, Concentration and Timing). (Krause, 1999).

To the master tactician knowledge is an indispensible resource—it’s worth its weight in gold bullion. Many sage tacticians of antiquity can’t overemphasize enough the importance of knowledge of self and the adversary. Take the case of Museveni who has ruled Uganda for nearly a quarter century: other than the confused multitudes that he manipulates at will, those who want his job have sacks of information to work with. Instead, he is left to frame the debate and set the tone. When he punches, some are left bleeding and react like amateurs.

At every opportunity, Mr. Museveni rails against the opposition, calling them liars, when, in fact, his lying is legendary. With his status, of course, the peasants get to believe authority! It is not too late to start defining him as a liar. There are numerous examples available. Don’t assume that the electorate should know. Constant reminder is the key to getting to them. Of course, as we all know, he is wont to get angry. That is the point: get him angry into reaction modes.

Surprise, fear, deception and disruption are all tools to throw an opponent off his game. So, when an also-running dude says he is compiling a list to use against Museveni, where is the element of surprise? If he meant to threaten and create fear, the man is probably in Memsahib’s boudoir and derisively telling her: Look at this joker! If you are going to praise the man’s contrived National Plan as the said also-running fellow did, why is he then running anyway? Why not call him “Uncle,” and let us go home?

Now, the buzzword is "societal transformation." How many cockamamie high-sounding schemes have been peddled for decades without measurable results? If you cannot point this weakness and offer concrete alternative vision, do not waist anybody’s time.

In the final analysis, it is Herod’s Law: You fuck them, or you get fucked.

All the Facts, Miss

Selective perception confirms our prejudice; then selective memories reassure us that this prejudice is consistent with experience—and it flows along automatically, leaving us a clear conscience. Kaplan & Kaplan


Human intellectual progress, such as it has been, results from a long struggle to see things “as they are,” or in the most universally comprehensible way, and not as projections of our own emotions. Ehrenreich
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The other day a lady from West Nile wrote in local daily. She felt that a prospective presidential aspirant was not being completely forthright. He supposedly asked for investigations into some of the murkiest past atrocities which the winners and losers alike get red faces to distance themselves from: You did it. I did not; you did it.

Our fair lady’s problem was that the said aspirant did not mention the traumas of her people in the immediate post- Idi Amin. For example, you could feel her pain as she told of her people going into exile as the winners terrified the people of West Nile. No excuse here. But the lady did not mention the nine years of Idi Amin’s horrors in which some West Nilers are perceived to be culpable. Unfortunately, the wrong-headed dynamics is that a people carry the sins of its sons. All the facts, miss.

Then, comes the recalcitrant ex-FDC lady—she of the federalism crusade. Check out some of what she had to say.

She declared: The problem of Uganda originated with the British ferrying resources to Britain. Now, the unitary Uganda government is doing similarly as it sucks taxes from the regions to the seat of power in Kampala. This sucking will not stop with federalism. In fact, the taxation structures will become more complex: The states and kingdoms will have to exact their pounds of flesh, and the federal government its loot.

Surely, our cotton found its way to Lancaster. Our tea supplemented the Indian tea just as Gandhi was shaking the status quo. Copper was a good conductance required to electrify the imperial palaces. While we are at it, let us not also forget the schools, hospitals, roads and the administrative structures that we all agreed were the best in Africa, South of the Sahara, excepting the Boer’s South Africa. Nothing comes from nothing.

Talking about Uganda’s problems; what about that business of protecting one kingdom from another? That single act came to haunt the newly minted independent nation. Did it not galvanize the 1966 crisis, reverberations of which still linger to today? What is that break-away kingdom within a kingdom? What is its paramilitary training all about? I don’t want to imagine even the potential rivers of blood. What is the craze for districts if not fiefdoms which may create more bad blood?

And don’t forget the loss of self-confidence which sends us in a frenzied search for meaning in all the wrong places. If Creflo Dollar jets into town and peddles his bizarre “Christian” wealth credos, even generals pay homage. We subscribe to the violence of our former colonial masters instead of condemning it as no less barbaric than the rut war of chimpanzees answering to primitive instinct to perpetuate genes. What is to be said about a nation whose parliamentarians are bought on the cheap to change a key tenet of a constitutional mandate?

Our esteem lady goes on to say that the calls to get rid of Museveni is misplaced. She can’t get over being “betrayed” by her former FDC boss. But the question is: Mr. Museveni opposes federalism; why not gang up against him instead of going off in a tangent in a fit of egocentric emotions?

So, ladies, the passions deserve A+ but, for credibility sake, give all the facts and let the chips fall where they may—just the facts, mums!

What Is the Game Plan?

Rwot Acana, who has assumed the created Museveni-era Paramount Chieftainship of the Acoli people, recently announced that Mr. Museveni has given him permission to convene a meeting.( http://www.newvision.co.ug/detail.php?mainNewsCategoryId=8&newsCategoryId=16&newsId=718327)
The envisaged agenda of the meeting is supposedly to review the progress of the reconstruction stipulations agreed upon at the Juba peace talks.

First, let us take a brief overview of the history of Acoli chieftainship. The highest political grouping that Acoli people ever had was the clan. Traditionally each clan was headed by a chief, called rwot (which some claim the word is a derivative of the French language). The rwot succession was meritorious, based on character and skills of sons of the kaal (the chief’s court) generally, but not necessarily. Occasionally, bold and adventurous outsiders so impressed the elders that they were inducted into the clan leadership. The rwot was a position of service—a true servant of the people—rather than a means of amassing wealth. Character and oratory skills were the hallmark of solid citizenship. Relationship with other clans was confederate, based on mutual interests, such as marriage, military defense or offence. Lesser clans were co-opted into the larger clans by their needs rather than through force.

Generally the various clans lived in peace with one another. Beyond light skirmishes, there was never an all-out war for dominance. Arab slave traders may have shaken this idyllic setup, but the most pronounced outside disruption was from British colonialism. Any chief who was over-jealously for his people was replaced by pretenders who were lapdogs, willing to dance to the colonialist whims. Rwot Acana’s grandfather was chief of the Payiira, one of the larger clans. He would not bow to the British pressure, and was exiled to the now Kololo Hill in Kampala—away from his people that he felt honored, privileged and obligated to serve their interests.

Overall there was no desire for a lordship over the whole tribe by a kingly figure. Had Acoli traditional political leadership evolved organically, it seems likely that a stronger confederacy would have been the next outcome. The traumas of the last forty years demonstrated the fault lines, and sentiments of one Acoli nation is gaining currency--if only for survival. If  a burning tire necklace knows no bound as long as you are an Acoli, then one might think twice in "looking only for number one" with the hope that the devil you serve will save you.

This brings us to the Paramount Chief. One thing for sure, we all know it is not an organic evolution. Why was it created? To keep up with the Joneses? As another arrow in Museveni’s quiver of political machinery?

The jury is still out on whether Acoli needs a Paramount Chief. Moreover, Museveni himself refuses a king of long tradition in his native Ankole. His motive for this position may be more of a pirate who does not want rivalry for the hearts of the Banyankole rather than for the people’s wishes.

In Acoli, there was once a Laloyo Maber, a creation of Obote I. The institution vanished when the same creator dismantled all kingdoms. Some never forgave him for it, but had the last laugh. No Acoli, however, lost sleep on the demise of the institution of Laloyo Maber.

If Rwot Acana wants to build the institution of the Paramount Chief into the consciousness of his people, he should be cognizant of historical facts. He would loose credibility if he plays the errand boy, in reality and/or perception. If the call for the meeting was initiated by Museveni, a man who was dragged screaming to the negotiation table, then the exercise is a political farce. The reconstruction regime is in the prime minister’s docket. Why couldn’t he call the meeting, and invite Rwot Acana as a participant in the review?

Healthcare System, Uganda Style

Obama, after a protracted battle, failing of which would have irrevocably crippled his presidency, finally triumphed amidst the clamoring noises of the Sarah Palens of the American world. Those who have had experiences with the sometimes capricious American healthcare insurance industry may breathe a shy of relief: At last!

In Uganda, to say that the healthcare system is a survival of the fittest (no pun intended) is an understatement. Stories are abound of stolen drugs by medical workers, dilapidated state hospitals, patients sleeping on hospital floors, and unsanitary conditions that could lead to serious disease outbreaks in the same hospitals meant to cure.

Let us get under the hood and take a glimpse of the structure of the system.

The Uganda healthcare begins largely as a bequest bequeathed by the British colonial master. This was a system of state hospitals and clinics distributed throughout the country to which anybody could be treated for free. The Obote I government maintained and improved on it. For modest a fee there were also Catholic missionary hospitals. Asians, and increasingly Africans, had private clinics which served a certain clientele base.

Fast forward to today. The Catholic hospitals have expanded, and served heroically during critical times, especially in the Northern 20-year LRA war of attrition. New private hospitals have been built by entrepreneurial clinicians. There is a vast array of clinics by doctors, some of whom work in government hospitals. The government hospitals, which service the great majority of the population, have regressed with broken infrastructures and poor services.

Here are some experiences that my good friend, we will call him Ojukkwe, had recently.

Ojukkwe hooked up with an old flame. Ojukkwe, like Reagan with the Russians, has the motto of: trust but verify. So he convinced the woman to check if she was “clean” before they got intimate. She, of course being relatively well-heeled, had insurance through her work. She thus walked into a private hospital in the capital city. The waiting room was clean, and the young doctors and orderlies looked efficient. There was not much waiting. She got her results, and they were soon on their way to consummate their pent-up missed opportunities.

Another experience occurred when Ojukkwe was knocked to his rear-end by nonstop partying and needed to extend his stay by a of couple weeks to recuperate. He did not want to pay a penalty for rescheduling his cheap ticket. When in Rome, do what the Romans do. He contacted a London-based doctor friend, who recommended a local doctor to provide Ojukkwe with a sickness note to present to the airline. The local doctor, while working for a public hospital, also had his private clinic in one of the slums that mushroom the city outskirts. When the doctor finally arrived past the appointed time, the nurse assistant ushered Ojukkwe in ahead of the other patients. The doctor was paid far above the requested fee, and the assistant welcomed a surprise tip. That is Ojukkwe, my friend. His other motto is: one good turn deserves another!

It thus seems then that in the present Uganda, if you have the means, your healthcare needs are taken care of without dislocation of resources. For the high-and-mighty you might even get flown out of the country to specialists and better medical technologies—all at taxpayers’ expense, for you are more valuable than they are. What about the teaming millions who have to use state hospitals and clinics? Are they forever cursed with dirty dilapidated buildings, lack of drugs, and poorly paid attendant physicians and orderlies?

The present is a legacy of the NRM government’s priority. Every hospital death that could have been prevented is its responsibilities and has to be accountable. It cannot escape by some futuristic gimmick declaration of transforming society. We all know that much of the 54 trillions transformation budget will go down the dark holes of corruptions.

We need leaders who are genuinely pro-people—not showmen, charlatans and pirates. If we examine the history of Uganda healthcare systems and study how similarly-challenged countries are handling theirs we can customize our solution. For example, Brazil provides basic preventive primary care to all its citizens. Malaysia has individual account system, called Malaysia National Health Accounts Unit that service basic healthcare needs. We cannot transform a society with a sickly population.