From Order to Chaos

You might have studied the book, Lord of the Flies, in high school. The namesake film will get you quite engrossed.
*When people come together, can they necessarily build a community?
*What are necessary to build a community?
*What break up a community into chaos?
*Look at how myths and belief get created in ignorance
*When a little one tentatively says “the beast is us,” no one comprehends the essence
*Look at the key players as they play their roles. You might see yourself or someone you know in: Ralph, Jack, Piggy, Roger, Simon, Sam&Eric.

Since the big bang, the cycle of the universe has been from order to chaos in nature and in our mundane activities. One is born in natural order, and one dies in natural chaos. You clean your desk but, sooner or later, there is chaos. To live skillfully is to be mindful of the phenomenon and manage it and/or go with the flow without being bewildered.

The “civilized” British school children, stranded on an island, without adult experiential supervision, deteriorated predictably from order, when Ralph became chief to the eventual end, when he was hunted like an animal in chaos. Look at many organizations, communities, countries, etc. and you see the same pattern to the letter.

Not Much Choice

A faction of DP delegates had gathered to choose, among other officials, the person who would lead them to the Promised Land—State House—a piece of real estate that is the sacred symbolism of Uganda’s presidency. The choice of the party’s flag bearer was between an ambitious convicted thief and a slick chameleon—not much choice for the oldest party that aspires to shed its old skin and become competitive in the scramble for state house.

Would we have been treated to more drama and might we have had different outcomes had the principals of the other faction been in the fray? I feel cheated! For now, however, we wish Mao well and not rain on his parade. He is a formidable orator, and his heart is in the right place despite behaviors that at times suggest an opportunistic flimflam.

It is suggested that Mao’s selection heralds DP to a new era—a more national character since Mao is a northerner by paternal heritage. This kind of reasoning is flawed in explaining the prevailing DP’s current tepid character. UPC of long ago and the NRM today, while being regional in their core leadership structure—the kitchen cabinet of sorts—, managed to capture the imagination of the humblest in the remotest parts of Uganda. While it may have been Buganda based in the last few decades, DP’s failure to reach out nationally has been more a function of lack of organizational ability of the leadership. They lacked the wherewithal to get into the mud and get dirty even as various population centers were in anguish. Besides, DP was nearly dead in Buganda as a consequence of Kabaka Yekka’s hijacking of the region’s plebiscite earlier on. It was the other regions of Uganda that carried some semblance of a DP in comatose to be revived post-Idi Amin under a different sets of circumstances and realities.

Uganda has not yet been able shake off the tendency of centrifugal forces to throw political parties to the periphery of the center, and may never. The present weird man of the house preaches non-sectarianism, but his house is packed only with his kind. Mao’s coziness with his wayward uncles in power may be out of filial imperatives, but may also show a tendency to compromise and bring people together. Let us see if Mao, who touts a mission for those born after independence, can build a party organization that is worthy of our vote.

Who Is the Real Killer?

The 2011 election campaign is already underway in earnest. The prospective candidates are out and about “consulting” with the electorate across the country. As a signal of what lay ahead one dude was refused radio airtime lest he sensitized the hapless peasants recently back home from Museveni’s concentration camps. Of the candidates none is busier than His Excellency Mzee Yoweri Museveni. He is out in the country pitching and hoping to resuscitate his moribund flagship cockamamie Let-Them-Become-Rich voodoo economics. (If this reminds you of Marie Antoinette’s “Let them eat cake," you are not alone). As he walks the banana and pineapple plantations and hands out vehicles gratis, he is also throwing some darts: DP is a dead party, and the inter-party opposition thing is packed with killers of yesteryears.

The last time the Mzee used the guilty-by-association stratagem was in 1996 when DP’s Ssemogerere was the victim. The southern population was reminded of the 5-year war by macabre displays of heaps of human bones harvested from the Luweero triangle. The blame for the war was pinned on the Obote regime—the very same regime Ssemogerere was allegedly in cahoots with. Moreover, the hated Obote was on his way just across the border. The peasants panicked. But wait—there was a “warrior” who could save them—the one and only, Museveni! Who won?!

A great warrior avoids war as much as possible. That concept presupposes taking-whole as propounded by the great masters of antiquity. Completely winning a conflict is rarely possible. Since conflicts occur in relationships of some sorts—be it with government, spouse, employer, siblings, etc—,to insist on no compromise is to destroy the relationship. The mindset of the psychotic Museveni, a man with multiple personalities, is to win completely (and also, as per Idi Amin!). Thus, because he wanted the throne of Uganda so badly, he had to go to war and thousands died. Rather than make political settlements in the North he waged a twenty-year war in which additional thousands perished. God only knows how many millions lost their lives in the forests of Congo and the grasslands of Sudan because of the man’s default penchant for war.

The opposition should be wary: the real killer is on the prowl and he is framing the debate. He will try to portray them as associated with the dark periods of Uganda, and brainwash the population that he is their Knight-in-shining-armor destined by God to save them. The trick works otherwise he would not be revisiting it. If the opposition can’t blunt the assault, they are as good dead before it has even begun. To keep quiet when he pummels them is to be defined by him, and that means political death. There are plenty of ammunitions, viz. safe houses, cases of torture, the September 2009 massacre, etc.
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It is a pleasure to watch the Chinese kids practice democracy in selecting a class monitor in this film, Please Vote for Me. Emotions, tricks, cold feet, etc are in display.
http://www.pleasevoteforme.org/index.html

The Elders Are God's Creation; Are They Not?

The bishops of Church of Uganda gathered at the multi-million dollar presidential palace in the dirt-poor nation of Uganda—a nation which depends on nearly fifty percent of its national budget from its colonial master and associates.

First of all, Uganda has no state religion. Why then “Church of Uganda?” Some wonk once stated that how you phrase a thing or an event matters. So, is it surprising then that a rogue scholar would opine that the British couldn’t have allowed the Catholic Kiwanuaka to become the first independence prime minister? According to him the protestant Anglican Britain engineered the cynical disenfranchising of the Buganda populace by allowing the corrupted selection of Buganda MPs by the Lukiiko (parliament) of Buganda. This move essentially chopped DP’s legs in Buganda, giving a leg up for the protestant-leaning UPC in alliance with the protestant dominated Kabaka Yekka(KY) to win. Thereafter the Anglican Church became Church of Uganda. Wink, wink, wink!

Back to our bishops: here they were paying homage to the president, a son of a savedee mother and married to a savedee woman—enough cover to fool the gullible. The bishops blessed the president and minister wife, and at the same time brown-nosing him as they congratulated him for his piety. You want to hold your nose!

Nobody ever faulted Museveni for his adept at using symbolism. Here were a dozen or so old men—princes of the church—trooping like schoolboys to the headmaster’s office to be lectured on how to be self-sufficient. The bewildered peasantry sees that in terms of boss and subjects, as well as an endorsement by the church. That is the subliminal message of the whole exercise.

The bishops are the spiritual leaders of their church. That is a very grave responsibility not to be taken lightly. It is a sagacious office that carries weight. It can shift gravity. In obsequiously herding themselves to the presidential palace rather than have the president make a trip to their gathering, the bishops have done the nation a disservice and served mammon. What would Rabbi Jesus have done?

To add insult to injury, the bishops’ head honcho deplored our penchant for dissing elders since “elders were created by God.” Supposedly, isn’t everyone? Bling, bling, bling!

You cannot force respect—fear may be—, but you earn it. What have the elders done on their watch for the last forty plus years? They have sent the country to the dogs with intrigues, murders, theft and, even today people are anxious about what tomorrow will bring. Look at that lonesome woman stranded in Museveni’s camp in Acoli. By their one act the bishops have shown how unskillful they are in the use of their power. They effectively endorsed the status quo. Respect? No way Jose'. Nada!

The NRM that Could Have Been

*It doesn’t matter if the cat is black or white, so long it catches mice.
--Deng Xiaoping

*The rabbi of Lublin said: “I love a wicked man who knows he is wicked more than a righteous man who knows he is righteous. But concerning the wicked who consider themselves righteous, it said: ‘They do not turn even on the threshold of hell.’”
--From Tales of Hasidim: Early Masters

*If we had ministers sporting French suits and gold watches, and squalid slums up against garish mansions, we would have another revolution in twenty-four hours.
--Chinese official (on Africa) to Robert Calderisi, a former World Bank official
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TimothyKalyegira was an earnest Sunday Monitor columnist who was quite controversial as he delved in an amalgam of sorcery, witchcraft and magic for his sources. At one time he ruffled my feathers when he made a reckless statement that some young Acoli men were filtering into Kenya to fight alongside their Luo brethrens in the 2008 Kenya post-election debacle. This kind of irresponsible reporting could have jeopardized the lives of many I know who were resident in Kenya or who might have been visiting.

When Mr. Kalyegira, who was sponsored by a local mysterious millionaire, returned from the Beijing Olympics, it was as if he was possessed by the glitter he witnessed in China. Impressionable as he was, we were to suffer weekly barrage of China having already effectively surpassed the US and its western cousins. Many probably did not take him seriously because of his historical hyperbolic embellishments. Soon after, his column disappeared—probably courtesy of directives “from high above.”

The fact of the matter is China has made a quantum leap in the last twenty plus years under the aegis of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP), a Marxist outfit gone capitalist without the yoke of so-called freedom the west preens itself about. In about the same period Uganda’s National Resistance Number (NRM), a similarly Marxist gangster by virtue of its impatience with opposition and criticism, assumed and consolidated power. The question then is: why has the CCP achieved much and continues to evolve, while the NRM is on a downward slide and on the verge of imploding with nothing to show for it but corruptions and haphazard development?

Let us give it to the Chinese for having been prepared with a history that spans four thousand years, and influenced by such masters as Kung Fu Tzu (Confucius) and Lao Tzu, let alone the elegant Zen Buddhism. It is a relatively homogenous and well-disciplined society. Culture matters in development. If you don’t viscerally know who you are, how can you know where you are going clearly? Granted, however, the NRM simply did not practice what it preached. Since Deng Xiaoping, the chief architect of the new China the CCP has had three presidents. The NRM has had one—one Museveni who increasingly has become the definition of the NRM. The CCP is evolving, even as we speak, what it calls vertical democracy, which is a top-down-bottom-up communication channels. Increasingly policies are tested regionally before floating it nationally as the kinks are ironed out.

The NRM is practically a top-down gang outfit. The mushrooming number of districts and the LC system is sham decentralization for a top-down control at the grassroots. Widows may wail and are handed cash-stashed brown envelops in the perpetual campaign tours. A region may threaten votes to blackmail for paved roads. But that is as far as the down-up functions in Museveni’s fiefdom.

The essence of vertical democracy would have been a natural for many Uganda societies. While many of the major players have histories of feudal top-down kingdom model, there is no reason why, equipped with the goodwill, the gun and the smarts it had, the NRM could not have persuaded these remnants of ancient legacies. But, it was not to be: the desire to be a feudal King was part of Museveni’s DNA, hence the oft-quoted self-declaration of King of Kings.

The umbrella government and the individual merit regime seemed quite elegant and appealing, but it fell short of its logical conclusions. It was a half-hearted tact to buy time and consolidate personal power. Soon people who were lulled into sleep woke up hog-tied with little political space. Hence, the chorus for multiparty democracy, which the west meekly encouraged with the slick cunning caveat that it is for Ugandans to decide, when they could as easily have pulled the plug of aid that props the regime.

No one in Africa wants multi-party democracy for its own sake or for just aping the west the way we do in many ways. China, despite some shortcomings, is showing that there is an alternative functional model which could have been the NRM legacy but for greed and egos of the architects.

To Be Married or Not to Be Married

Some have opined that the hullabaloo about the marriage status of Mr. Olara Otunnu, the UPC presidential aspirant, is some conspiracy to derail the man’s political ambition. Outside the motives and tactics of his detractors, the marriage status of someone seeking to run a country matters.

We men are simple creatures: feed us, give us sex and stroke our fragile egos and we are good to go. All other prancing and posing—wars, theft, cheating, lying, etc—are geared to these needs. Once we have had enough at chasing illusions we may delve into philosophy sizing, religion, arcane cultures, etc. or become bitter old goats with no wisdom.

While all humans are affected by hormones and survival instincts, women are ruled by them. The result is a complicated creature that can play a man like a yoyo. From time immemorial the African has understood this characteristic of the woman. The Shakespearean Taming of the Shrew tells us that the pale man up North also has an inkling. And so, in nearly every African society marriage and ability to manage a woman is a mark of maturity. It follows then that the litmus test for leadership is marriage. A litmus test is just that: it tests the acidity of a substance, the same way a married man is presumed capable of taking greater responsibilities. It is a given.

Of course, and rightly so, we can argue that logically a man’s marriage status is not decisive leadership quality. However, the fact of the matter is that the peasants may gape in awe of PhDs and international jobs. So what? Give them what they understand as the quality of a real man who is a strategist and tactician who has successfully run the basic political domain of a household.

Mr Olara Otunnu is unmarried. Those who grew up in the sixties and seventies can understand him, but that is the subject of another story. Mr. Otunnu can argue and look defensive. Or he can pick up one of those nubile Banyankole or Bakiga girls and head to the altar. Soon the story will leak in the Red Pepper about his awesome member and how he never lets Memshahib sleep whenever he comes home from sojourns in the far reaches of Uganda. Nine months down the line there is junior, just as the campaign season is at its boiling point. And miracles do happen—next year we would be talking about president Otunnu of the United States of Uganda.
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The writer is, inter alia, a social critic and a confirmed bachelor. He believes that the keys to the fountain of youth and longevity are: great sex, good sleep, and good bowel movements. Everything else is chasing after the wind.

Only Museveni Could Pull It Off

I first saw Bebe Cool when he was in town, like many peddlers of various trinkets and may be even flesh, to cash in on a gathering of Ugandans. It was at a third-rate watering shack. He jumped on stage and began belting something, which I learned later on was his latest hit song. From the faces and reactions, nobody cared. I can’t remember when he left the stage. So, another “superstar” fell flat on his butt—never making it in the big easy. Tabu Ley, a.k.a Rochereau, could not even sell more than ten tickets in the Kilimanjaro in its heydays. He had to go back and become a mere minister (a downwardslide by his creative standard) in his native dysfunctional country. Only Miriam Makeba could have made it had she not married the telegenic firebrand Black Panther Carmichael. The white liberal establishment abandoned her like a black child would do to a black doll.

Seriously, I wish Bebe Cool a quick recovery from the wounds inflicted by a police state, out of control. Especially when his dad is such a cool dude who, unfortunately will never be president of United States of Uganda even if he tries.

The poor policeman who shot Bebe Cool and his hangers-on reacted according to script created by the state, a.k.a. Museveni. Just imagine: If Bebe Cool & Co had balls laced with star-power and marched down-town demanding civilized politics, what would happen to them? Unlike Kanyaryeru heroes,you don’t get a medal for guessing. Blood would soak the streets. That, my friend, is the message that has seeped into the minds of anybody with any semblance of power—including access to sulfuric acid. Mind you, the unconscious doesn’t need overt instructions. It absorbs messages even when one is asleep and stores it somewhere. When the condition is ripe, you just carry on the instruction as dictated as the right thing to do. This time it said: shoot Bebe Cool and the robot did without winching or second thought.

Then we have Mr. Museveni, the ever resourceful opportunist, visiting the “superstar” in his hospital bed. This is a busy executive, who never sleeps, squeezing in the time and spending scarce resources for a picture opportunity when a phone call could have done—all to score points for the coming elections. Only Museveni, in spite of the stench, could pull it off and look shamelessly genuine. The man is reaching for straws as Mugisha Muntu and Besigye are making points up country. And, of course, don't discount the ambassador whose contribution, if any, will be sensitizing the hapless population.

Design Flaws

So God created human beings in his image. He created them man and female. God blessed them and said, “ Have many children and grow in number. Fill the earth and be its master. Rule over the fish in the sea and over birds in the sky. Rule over every living thing that moves on earth.” Amen.

My qusetion is: If we are created in the image of God, should we not be perfecto?!

Take the example of woman. Down there are orifices that are compacted near or into one another that are recipe for disasters. Among them is childbirth. Before the advent of science and the helpful elixirs, millions of women faced horrible pains and even deaths.

In his/her/its wisdom, if ever s/he/it did it, he put the prostate gland just on top of the bladder. And when that prostate enlarges, as it does in some men, it means frequent goings to the John. Thus the six or so hours of sleep that you enjoyed in your youth is gone.Capiche?! And that is just the beginning of the prostate woes that could get worse. Cancer. Incontinence. And lord behold, impotence. What can spoil a man’s day than inability to get up!

Now s/he/it says: Amor vincit omnia. Love conquers all. Or something to that effect. Tell that to those who have been betrayed, cheated or abused in love. Do Haitians not love? What of the children who are traded, molested, or otherwise go hungry in a world of plenty?

Okay. You say you are civilized. Thanks to one of the newest part of your brain, the prefrontal cortex that made it possible. On top of the good stuff like planning, forethought, judgement, organizing, or impulse control you can also pass through this brain all kinds of negatives to the other less intelligent primitive parts of the brain. It is like creating a village path by continual walking through the same track. Soon your escape route will be this path when you are caught in the bush with the village tramp. Unless you understand this, no force in the world or other-worldly can pry you out of say, the track of addiction or angry outbursts.

The point here is that, if there is a designer , then s/he/it might have just only triggered the Big Bang and left nature to its own course according to precise cosmic algorithms in the larger schemes of things. But in the subroutines of our finite selves, we are stumped—bewildered and confused because of our misguided consciousness. S/He/It is probably watching in amusement: Look at man. He gets this magnificient evolutionary brain, better than any other creature's, and he messes everything up. Aahaahaah!